Tonight I shall attempt several things, listed in decreasing order of likelihood of completion:
- Leave work a few minutes early.
- Make it to Fiesta Island in time to participate in this week’s Weekly Except During Daylight Savings Time Fiesta Island World Championships of Pretend Bicycle Racing.
- Participate in above.
- Survive the first lap.
- Survive the second lap.
- Survive the third lap.
- Survive the fourth lap.
- Take a sip from my water bottle.
- Survive the fifth lap.
- Survive the sixth lap.
- Survive the seventh lap.
- Survive the eighth lap.
- Survive the ninth lap.
- Survive the tenth lap.
After which, I will attempt the following tasks, listed in preferred chronological order:
- Locate my automobile.
- Drive home.
- Look at kitchen thermometer, which will read 92.6 F.
- Strip naked.
- Put on pair of shorts.
- Clean cat poop off of floor next to litter box.
- Open every single window and switch every fan to “medium.”
- Feed cat.
- Put bike away.
- Check mail.
- Feed self.
- Observe television.
- Sweat profusely.
- Drink one beer from bottle with beer cozy.
- Go to bed.
- Receive phone call from wife, who is traveling for work.
- Mumble incoherently.
- Go back to bed.
Optional additions to the above list, in no particular order, with the percentage likelihood of completion shown in parentheses:
- Inflate kiddie pool (4%).
- Figure out Google App Inventor (6%).
- Pick guitar (6%).
- Clean house (0.1%*).
- Unstick stuck window(s) (not today).
* I might clean a room or two, though.
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